I’m thinking of you right now and I am dying. I’m picturing you and I am dying. I am remembering and I am dying.
I died a thousand deaths on that Thursday years ago.
It has been so long.
I see your face when I close my eyes, still.
I feel your breath and feel the warmth of your hair on my chest. I feel it still.
I cry. I cry and I look at myself, focused on the tears as they run.
I breath, and feel myself stealing your breath as you steal mine.
I close my eyes and I see your face. I feel your touch; hear your whisper; taste your lips again.
I open my eyes and I see your face. I see you turn away; feel your distance; hear your silence.
I close my eyes again and the world has stopped. I quiet the world around me. I breath again.
I imagine today and regret tomorrow. I look at my past with disdain and with longing.
I ask the night for comfort.
I gaze upon the night sky and think on my regrets…and laugh and cry at the absurdity of it all.